The questions many people think about before retirement are "How much money do I need?" or, "Have I saved enough?"
Financial security is certainly critical for a successful retirement. However, you also need to amass your emotional reserves.
Not enough people consider the psychological adjustments that come with this life stage. Not only do you have to cope with the loss of your career identity, you also have to replace the support networks you had at work because spending all day, every day with your spouse, or alone, is not always the dream life you’d imagined.
You think of retiring as the beginning of a new life, one you’ve worked hard for and dreamt about: golf, travel or taking up those longed-for hobbies you had no time for when you were working. Many people do ease smoothly into retirement.
For others, it’s a gut-wrenching journey peppered with anxiety, depression and debilitating feelings of loss. And it can be hell, a hell you don’t talk about...
If you haven't made it to this webinar then here is the recording. I really hope this gives you an insight into your anxiety and inspiration to take back control of your life.
At the end of the webinar I talk about my Video Course - The Anxiety Tool Kit. Read more about it, see some previews and make a note of the code for a special price. TOOLKIT.
Anxiety Help Video Course:
Imagine, you walk into the kitchen and there is a small girl in distress. She’s fidgeting, maybe biting her nails, pacing, washing her hands or scrolling through a phone. She looks up at you with wide eyes and an open mouth. You stare at her from the doorway trying to make sense of what’s going on. She ignores you and goes back to what she was doing. She starts rubbing her hands together or doubling up in pain. You watch and wait to see what she’ll do next.
She begins to move rapidly around the kitchen, muttering things like,
“I can’t go to the meeting”
“I’m going to get fired”
“Everyone will think I’m an idiot”
“They’ll see me go red”
“I can’t cope”
“How can I stay on my own?”
“No one likes me”
“No point in going out to the party”
Anxiety has created probably the biggest epidemic the world has ever seen. It’s estimated that 4% of the world’s adult population has an anxiety disorder. In the US the figure is 18.1% which equates to more than 40 million people living with its symptoms and their disabling consequences.
The healthcare industry has now ‘stepped up’ to produce drugs designed to ‘sedate muscles and calm your mind.’ It’s also categorized anxiety into an array of disorders for which the pharmaceutical industry can now build a portfolio of new drugs.
They have got it so wrong.
Anxiety isn’t a mind disorder which needs pharmaceuticals to put it right.
Anxiety is the result of a broken spirit.
Let me explain. Anxiety happens when you feel fear – and it’s always about something in the future. Your stomach jumps, your chest tightens and you feel panicky. So, in all good faith, the brains assesses that...
Are you exhausted when you wake up, even after eight hours sleep? This latest lockdown has left many of us feeling shattered. Some people have reported being mentally done in by 11am!
What we are feeling is not just fatigue but some serious demotivation. This time round the novelty has worn off; we know exactly what we’re getting. Because we don’t know when life will get back to normal, it’s like we are living in captivity, preserving any energy, waiting for the moment when we can escape.
This lockdown energy drain is also because we can’t plan anything. Scrolling through holiday brochures and planning the summer holiday is very motivating. Training for a marathon or working towards exams are ways of keeping us focused on the bigger picture. Without these future goals, it makes us feel weary, without purpose.
If you add in the time of year, some people suffer the well-known syndrome of fatigue and depression called seasonal affective disorder. But actually a...
Goodbye to 2020, the year that caught us ALL off guard. 2021: New Year, New Start? We certainly hope so.
But, if we still have this pandemic…have to be in lockdown…anticipate the vaccination… hold off seeing our loved ones, where is the new start? It can feel demoralising, frustrating and cause a ton of anxiety.
In all honesty the only changes we can make will take place within ourselves. What transformed my life and still does, every day, is something that I learned when I studied with a Buddhist monk:
A simple but powerful mantra for living an anxiety free life.
But what does it mean? It means to not try and resist the reality of what’s happening right now. Instead, accept it.
A fundamental principle of Buddhism is that ‘anxiety lives in between the gap of where we are now but wishing it were different.’
How many of have sat in front of our screens wishing for things to be different? I have. But...
It's becoming a regular part of the conversation: What’s happened to my brain?
Dealing with life in lockdown is making us more forgetful than normal. It seems we can't plan or make decisions and our cantankerousness has gone through the roof. We’re so far from the well-organised, competent adults we used to be. In fact, this second lockdown seems to be ten times worse than the first.
We know that as soon as we become stressed, anxious, depressed or suffer from any kind of trauma, our brain becomes impaired. The brain goes into a very rudimentary state of cognitive ability so that all the routine things that we do every day are going to be OK because we’re biologically hardwired but as soon as we need to do anything that requires higher order planning or thinking outside the box, we're going to find this more difficult.
Because of the stress and anxiety that the pandemic is creating, we’re...
There are times when life throws you the most enormous challenge, and this is one of them. Tier 4, lockdowns and the Covid pandemic are creating havoc. And now, Christmas is cancelled.
When we feel particularly distressed, anxious or depressed, self-soothing is the perfect antidote. This is a way to calm ourselves, especially when everything seems to be going wrong.
It’s a way to nurture and comfort ourselves that’s so simple you may not believe it will work. I can promise you it does and is so effective that you may continue to practice it long after lockdown.
Follow these 8 suggestions to help bring about a sense of calm in these crazy days.
There’s no point in doing anything else. Hand wringing, getting angry and wishing things were different won't make a jot of difference. In fact, you may be doing yourself a disservice. Trying to change the unchangeable is like pushing wet sand, it just gets harder, creates stress hormones and...
Christmas is known as 'The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.'
But is it?
As millions are preparing their homes, wrapping gifts and getting excited for the holiday, others are getting seriously stressed out. Add in the complication of Covid 19 and you could have a recipe for a personal mental health disaster.
I used to suffer debilitating anxiety and found ways of isolating myself from Christmas get-togethers to keep it down to manageable levels.
It was the increased pressure to spend time with extended family, the expectation to be 'happy' and mixing with people who were having a great time that was difficult. I felt extra sad that I just couldn't be as happy as everyone else. On the outside I looked like the party girl but inside I was crying.
Before I was able to beat the anxiety, I remember the one Christmas that turned into a nightmare. Thursday just before Christmas Day and I’d just left one party and was heading home to Lymington to pick up my...
There are several secrets about anxiety that you didn’t know and which I’m going to share with you over the coming weeks.
The #1 you may not know is this:
Whether you suffer from OCD, PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), sexual anxiety, eco anxiety, health anxiety, financial anxiety, social anxiety, phobias, general anxiety disorder etc., the origin of all anxiety is the same. It all comes from a deep-seated fear because fear is the root of all anxiety.
Fear of what? … I can hear you asking. A fear of something that you have seen, heard or thought. But, as is the way with our minds, it’s much more complex than simply being afraid, it’s being afraid of something that you cannot control.
Before we look at anxiety itself imagine, if you will, walking along the pavement when you see in the corner of your eye a car...